Make Time For Mangled Mottos, Timeless Terms and Your Family’s Famous Phrases
By Mary Discenza, Director, The Writing Party (Make Time For Mangled Mottos, Timeless Terms and Your Family’s Famous Phrases)
My dad, whose pride in his ancestry seemed almost limitless, once made a list of proverbs, aphorisms, maxims and coined words intrinsic to our family to record for posterity. Sometimes the list merely included a definition, sometimes there’s an explanation for what made these watchwords so apropos and unique to our family heritage.
He’s gone now, but Dad’s list remains, a treasure trove of mangled mottos, timeless terms and famous phrases, good for a chuckle, a trip down memory lane, or even a history lesson. Begin your list of your family’s famous phrases; it’s easy to do—and expand upon it in time to reflect new twists and turns in our language as well as in your family. Carpe diem! (There—I’ve started the list for you.)
Remember Haws? Me Neither.
I suspect mine is not the only family which has a cache of phrases and axioms which, while they make perfect sense to us, when repeated to an outsider are met with quizzical stares and eye rolling. Most of these sayings have been part of our family’s lexicon for ages—so long in fact that we have no clue as to their derivation or how they were originally used.
An example of this is the phrase “When all else fails, remember haws.” It’s there in my dad’s list. While I never knew what “haws” were, I understood what my father meant based on the context. Because it was on dad’s list, I assumed this peculiar phrase was completely exclusive to my family, passed down from generation to generation, even though now arcane and rarely used.
I found out—as a result of doing research for this article, actually—that the saying is an adulteration of a time-worn Irish or Scottish axiom, thus: “When all fruit fails, remember haws.” (You can look it up. The explanation is interesting.) As my Irish ancestors used it, it was a dictum designed to enable them to face the inevitable hardships in life. It could be paraphrased thus: “When all is lost and it seems there’s nothing left to sustain existence, remember there are unused or forgotten resources which are available in overlooked or unexpected places.” And even though it has fallen out of common use within my family, I’m glad my dad included it in his list. I learned a little history and a little about my ancestors as well.
Coin Your Own Words
My dad had an assortment of phrases and/or words which are completely original to him, my favorite of which is “slum duff.” (At least my diligent internet search came up with no matches here. The closest Google was able to find was plumduff, which is a kind of pudding. But I digress…) Slum duff was the label my dad bestowed on meals of mixed-up and sundry leftovers concocted by my mom in her attempt to create a main course which served the double purpose of feeding the family and cleaning out the refrigerator at the same time.
My father never used this term disparagingly; it was merely the best way to describe a dinnertime dish which simply had no assigned menu appellation. To this day, in keeping with family tradition, I occasionally serve up a tantalizing plate of slum duff for my husband’s evening repast. He never complains.
There’s Always Room For More Mottos
The most recent bon mot which has entered our family’s vocabulary is actually an acronym: “ATBs”. It stands for “All the be’s” which is an abbreviation itself, the explanation of which is this: When my youngest daughter was four or five, and just beginning her first forays into independence, whenever I dropped her off for school, parties, play dates, etc. I would always instruct her in my most serious voice, “Be good, be careful, be polite, be kind, be appreciative,” and any other “be” virtue I could think of for her to practice during her time away from me.
Over time, these instructions did not change; they merely expanded as manners and mores evolved. And as so many aspects of our English language have devolved into abbreviations and initializations (LOL, JSYK, FYI, etc.) “ATBs” seems to be the most contemporary, state-of-the art contraction for this directive. I expect it will live on past my time, at least within my daughter’s family. She once wrote a beautiful tribute to the phrase and, by association, me. I’m proud to be the wordsmith for this enrichment in our family’s lexicon.
Record Your Family’s Adages
Does your family have such a collection of phrases, mottos, epigrams, and axioms which are part of its heritage? For goodness sake, write them down! Explain or define them, and include anecdotes which can serve as a sort of chronicle of your family’s verbal interactions. Believe me, recording a little jargon commentary like this is an amusing and informative method to create a picture of life and language in your family’s saga.
Share Your Sayings
We would love to hear what sayings make the rounds in your family. Please share your family’s famous phrases in the comments.
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Brilliant!