The Writing Party

By: Mary Discenza and Anna Hallett,  The Writing Party (The Holiday Season: Red, Green…And Blue? Writing to Chase the Blues Away)

Writing to chase the blues away

Even before the added stress of COVID-19, for many people the holiday season and the shorter, darker days of winter exacerbate feelings of sadness, loneliness, and anxiety, often referred to as the “holiday blues.” Therapists and counselors regularly recommend writing as a technique for coping. Writing can have a positive effect on your physical and mental health and on your mood and attitude.

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Julie Ayn Discenza, M.Ed., M.S. states, “Writing is a safe and effective way to identify, express, and release emotions.” It allows you to clarify your thoughts and feelings through self-exploration. The insights you gain about yourself can help you with emotional processing and relieve stress and anxiety. Writing can help improve your mood through positive reinforcement and optimistic thinking. It can help you set goals and encourage you to be more hopeful.

Do it your way

We are all wonderfully unique individuals with varying talents and interests. There are a variety of ways to use writing for self-nurturing. Experiment with what works best for you. As Discenza says, “It doesn’t matter how you say what you need to say—it only matters that you say it.”

As you write – speak to and for yourself. Give yourself permission to express without censor or judgement. Set aside concerns about grammar, spelling, and punctuation. None of this is important when you’re writing to release feelings of anxiety or sadness.

Express yourself

Below are a few writing exercises to lift your spirits.

Write a letter

Making a connection with others through letters can alleviate feelings of isolation and loneliness. A pen pal can be a friend or relative or you can connect with someone using a pen pal service. There are a variety of websites offering to link people from around the world. By writing letters, you can establish a meaningful long-distance friendship. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you look like, or what you do for a living, writing a letter creates a bond with another person. Through a letter you can share your experiences and take an interest in someone else. Just as you feel excitement with each letter you receive, your letter brings that same happiness to someone else. It feels so good to share that joy.

You can also write a letter to yourself. Discenza suggests even purchasing an uplifting or funny card, writing a supportive note, and mailing it to yourself. You will get a little boost from the writing, receiving the mail, and reading your own encouraging words.

Discenza also recommends writing a letter to the problem. If you are upset about COVID-19, or at a politician, or about your depression, or about an upsetting situation, write a letter to the problem letting it know how you feel about it and how it makes you feel. This type of letter will externalize the issue and help you relieve your frustration, anger, or fear. Express it in writing rather than bottle it up inside.

Keep a journal

Journaling is an opportunity to vent, organize your thoughts, record your experiences, and rejoice in your triumphs. Your journal can be a release valve for pent up emotions and fears. Journals are also a useful place to engage in the power of positive thinking and goal visualization. Make a list of your goals and ambitions. Create a list of your successes and remember the hard work you put in to achieve them.

Recording in a journal is also a way to preserve your memories, big and small. When you write in your journal, remember to include the good things, experiences, and people in your life. Or start a gratitude journal and remind yourself of all those things and people for which you are thankful and which bring you happiness.

Get more journal ideas from our article “Journaling: Why You Need to Journal.”

Make a list

While lists are not for everyone, for some of us a list brings order to chaos, taming the swirl of tasks, ideas, and goals jumbled in our minds. A list can give you back control. Life can be so busy, especially around the holidays. Make a to-do list and then savor each time you check off a task. Relish each accomplishment.

A list can also help you to pare away concerns that don’t belong in your life. Discenza suggests creating a diagram outlining circles of control. In one circle, list what you can control. In the next circle, list what you can’t control. Finally, in the last circle, list where you will focus your energy. This exercise will help you prioritize what is most important and doable and to let go of what you can’t change.

Write a permission slip

Discenza also suggests another way to restore control and bring peace is to write yourself a permission slip. Give yourself a pass on a task you can’t complete or permission to make a mistake or permission to do something you enjoy. A written permission slip is an external representation of internal consent to accept that you can’t control everything and that you have the right to be happy.

2020 is a very unusual holiday season because of COVID-19. Due to the pandemic, many people are making tough decisions to not visit family or are experiencing financial hardships and can’t give gifts the way they have in the past. If you are feeling anxious about tough choices, give yourself permission to accept the changes you need to make to get through this strange 2020 holiday season. Writing and reading your permission slip may alleviate some of the guilt that burdens you.

This year use your writing gifts for the holidays to create something meaningful and memorable for your loved ones. Compose a tribute, poem, letter, or memoir and wrap it up in a festive package.  Learn more in our article “Writing Gifts for the Holidays.”

Ask yourself the Miracle Question

The Miracle Question originated with Solution Focused Therapy. Ask yourself, “If a miracle occurred in my life, what would be different after it occurred?” Discenza suggests you think about what effect your miracle would have on you and your life:

• Emotionally
• Academically or Future Career
• Hobbies
• Socially
• Spiritually
• Physically
• Intellectually
• Financially

After careful consideration, write down your miracle and its effects. Describe your ideal future post miracle. Focus on the possibilities and let it fill you with hope, concentrating on setting goals to make it happen. You may use paragraph or bullet form, whichever is most comfortable. Keep your writing handy and read it every night before going to sleep. Don’t think about it or analyze it, just read it.

Compose your own affirmations

Positive affirmations are statements you repeat to yourself to provide motivation and prime you for change. They help you actualize your goals and change your attitude toward yourself. Discenza explains that “positive affirmations change the neural pathways in the brain, thus helping us to feel better.” When you write your affirmations, 1) make them specific to your own needs, 2) use positive words and create a positive message, and 3) use present tense and active language. Then embed the concepts in your mind by regularly repeating your affirmations aloud. For example, say your affirmations ten times before every meal and before you go to bed at night. Or write your affirmations over and over.

Here are a few examples of affirmations provided by Discenza:

• It is ok to be authentically me.
• All is well with me right now.
• I only compare myself to my old self.
• I am calm, competent, and totally enough for this world.
• I am unaffected by others’ compliments and criticisms.

Get Creative

Another way to relieve stress and reduce anxiety is to have fun—and writing can be fun. When you use your imagination to create a new world, you naturally shift your mind’s focus away from worries, pressures, and stresses. Write a short story, start a novel, or share an inspiring experience through memoir. Or write your own story in the third person point of view—get it out of your head and onto paper. Create an adventure, solve a mystery, or describe a fantasy world. Use creative distraction to lift your mood.

Find writing ideas in our article “Feed Your Creativity with Writing Prompts.”

You can also express yourself in a poem. Poetry is ripe with emotion. Beautifully, it is an emotional release for both the writer and the reader. Let your emotions spill out into the words of your poetry. Create poems that calm like a lullaby or sizzle like lightening in a storm. Through poetry, you can turn the ordinary into something extraordinary. Abstractions such as love, hate, friendship, loneliness, joy, pain, beauty, or fear can be described and encompassed in the concrete to reveal their deepest meaning.

Use meaningful words to create an Acrostic Poem. Be inspired and learn how in our article “Acrostic Poems: Playing with Words.”

Write to heal

“Writing is a tool anyone can use to shift perspective and heal.“

Julie Ayn Discenza, M.Ed., M.S., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Writing is a powerful tool for transforming our moods, attitudes, and perspectives. With writing, we use our own words to lift our spirits and bring us to a better place in our lives. Whether you are penning a letter, journaling, describing your ideal future, or imagining a new world, writing is an effective way to chase away the blues.

In “The ‘Write’ to Heal,” Julie Ayn Discenza, M.Ed., M.S., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, describes the therapeutic process of writing to heal emotional wounds.

Disclaimer

The activities described in this article are not meant to replace the advice or guidance of a therapist or counselor. If you are feeling depressed or anxious, seek the help of a licensed therapist or counselor.

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Julie Ayn Discenza, M.Ed., M.S., is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (# 92632) with over 18 years of experience in the field of education and school counseling. Prior to becoming a therapist, Julie taught at the elementary and college level; school counseled at the elementary, middle, and high school level; and worked as a College Disabilities Coordinator.

Julie has a private practice, JD Family Counseling.

To learn more about the professional services Julie offers, please visit her website at www.jdfamilycounseling.com.

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